


I'll Be Waiting

by frostystuffs



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, love and angst, srsly though I almost cried writing this, the bestest stuffs ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 10:31:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8158984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frostystuffs/pseuds/frostystuffs
Summary: Somehow, it's always Mai who winds up being the one who waits. (Day 4 of Maiko Week)





	

**_Prompt: Distance_ **

* * *

 

People think that Mai is more like an emotionless tank than a teenage girl, but truly, they're quite wrong. Just because she doesn't let them see her emotions, doesn't mean they're not there. She guards them; letting only those she completely and utterly trusts access to what she sees as her most vulnerable part of herself.

Not to mention, just because her lips are quiet, doesn't mean her mind is.

In fact, for the passed three years, her mind has been anything but quiet. Finding out your betrothed was banished can do that to a person. As she turns down yet another hallway in the huge, golden palace, Mai lets her mind wander.

Back to when she was just tasting her teenage years, when things were as well as they could have been. Tom-Tom hadn't been born yet, she had her two friends, and she had a boyfriend. For any other girl her age, they'd been thrilled. Looking back, she realizes that she should have not taken the times for granted as much as she had. Really, at that time, things never did change much with her.

Now, so very much has changed.

From the day a messenger came to her family's home, declaring that her betrothal to Crown Prince Zuko had been called off, to being shipped to New Ozai, to traveling with Azula, and now, it's as if her life has gone in a 180 turn.

Mai is back in a palace, Azula bossing servants around, Ty Lee looking around at anything in the palace that'll catch her eye, and she's off looking for Zuko.

Just like when they were children. Only, they're in a Earth Kingdom palace, Azula is in control here, Ty Lee isn't as innocent, and Zuko...

She's not sure what's going on with him. When she used to see him day in and day out, she used to be able read him so easily. It didn't hurt that he left his heart on his sleeve, either. But when she'd seem him earlier, just for those few seconds that Azula had told her and Ty Lee what had happened and what was to happen, he seemed so... Different.

That's what brought her to running through a palace to find someone she thought she'd lost she had lost three years ago.

Mai remembers back when she was twelve, hearing the incredibly graphic tale of what lead to Zuko's banishment. She remembers for a better part of a year having to hold back a sneer whenever the Fire Lord's name was uttered. She remembers standing on the porch of her home, staring out at the see, waiting for Zuko to return. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, the avatar may truly be out there.

In a way, she should be grateful. Her boyfriend has been unbanished, the avatar is dead, and they won the war.

Why, then, does her heart hurt so?

Finally, after walking what felt like the entire palace, Mai found Zuko. He was still in Earth Kingdom attire, standing at the large window of his room with his back to her. She noticed that earlier, when she'd seen him, it wasn't a mistake of her eyes (when had her eyes ever deceived her, she needs them to be able to aim so well) that made him seem different. In all honesty, she's beginning to think that not only outwardly was he different, with his hair short and clothing green, but inwardly he was different, too.

Though she would never dare to show anyone, she felt rather terrible about that. What do you say to your previous betrothed, who had been burned, shamed, and banished at such a young age, spent years traveling the world to look for the person who all of the sudden shows up and then his sister kills him?

Can you even say anything to that?

Replacing her worried look with her usual mask of boredom, the young woman silently crossed the threshold of the room. Before the Agni Kai happened, she probably would have let her element of surprise be in her favor and scare him, just as a joke. But know? She wasn't sure how he'd react. Scream, be angry for a bit, then laugh as when they were younger or if she, too, would have a burn scar on her face. She doesn't know right now.

So much has changed in so little time. People, places... Everything. She used to like change; kept things interesting and far from boring. Still does, mostly. But this kind of change? People she'd known her whole life just all of the sudden, different? She's not quite sure how to take it, not just yet.

"Missed me?" she asks about midway through the room, a joking edge to her voice. Zuko jumps a bit and turns to her, seeming to have been caught up in thought before she spoke. It startles her, just a little. Him being in his own world was something Azula used to make fun of him about back before this mess began, and she too noticed that sometimes he'd drift away to his thoughts. But he didn't use to jump.

"Mai?" Zuko replies, good eye wide and voice surprised. "I thought you were with Azula or Ty Lee?" he asks more than says, quite awkwardly. As if he doesn't know how to interact around her or say. It reminds her of when they'd first discovered their feelings for each other; awkward silences, shy smiles, huge blushes. The awkwardness is here, and of the lighting isn't causing it, the blush is here as well.

Something that hasn't changed. She's grateful for it. Even if this might be just like starting from step one, she'll take it.

"Why? So I can watch Azula parade herself around like a show ostrich horse or have my ears ring every time Ty Lee sees something pretty?" she scoffs as she reaches his side, now staring out the window herself. He had watched her since she made her presence know, and even know, she could feel his gaze on her. "No, thank you for such a kind offer."

The former banished prince lets his lips quirk upwards, but Mai notices that he doesn't fully smile. Her brows furrow for a quick moment, too quick for someone to notice. She pushes the old feelings that are beginning to jump around her heart back. Jumping back to where they left off might not be too smart, at least not right now. Not for her, anyway; she doesn't know exactly what she's dealing with yet. She wants to care, show him she cares, but... Would he even want to know?

"Why are you here?" he blurts out after only a few seconds of silence. She can tell by the look on his face that he hadn't meant to do that. Inwardly, she forgives his off-standish reply just because of that look. It's nice to know that, too, hasn't changed. He still let his emotions have the rule over himself.

Which makes her think, has Zuko truly changed that much?

"I decided that you, out of my other two options, had to be the least boring." she decides to keep going with the joking manner, a small part of her fearing that getting too deep may open wounds he doesn't want to speak about.

Zuko scoffs. He shakes his head, as though doing so would either quiet the thoughts in his mind or cast them away altogether. His now shaggy hair, no top knot anymore, frames his face messily once he's done. Running his hand through his hair, Mai isn't sure if its to tame his mane or just do something with his hands. Or, perhaps, it's even to give way to built up frustration.

"Trust me, there's nothing you'd wanna deal with when it comes to me right now," the way he speaks is a contradictory in itself. He sounds to be honest, yet at the same time, he seems to be hiding something. She won't acknowledge it; at least, not for a while. He can first be settled before she bombards him with questions.

"What makes you say that?" she quarries, now turning herself completely to him. He doesn't reply right away, shifting from foot to foot and wringing his hands together. She'd find if adorable in other circumstances, not when the person whom you care quite a bit about was trying to explain to you why you wouldn't want them anymore.

"Because—" he cuts himself off with a out put of hot air. You can now literally feel that this is more than he can bear, if the heat on your skin is anything to go by. It seems as if he didn't noticed what exactly he'd done, because he's right back at trying to explain his issue.

"Because everything is so complicated! I mean, Azula just took over Ba Sing Se in a few days when Uncle had been at it for years, and lost Lu Ten here, Uncle himself has been labeled a traitor, and—and—" he lets out a strangled groan, hands instantly in his hair and tugging at it. So depesperately she wants to reach out and grab him, and tell him to just calm down.

So she does.

"Zuko," she murmurs quietly, pulling his hands away from his locks and down to her chest where she intertwines their fingers together. He's surprised; wide eye, mouth hanging open. He probably thought she was going to leave him alone in his misery, thinking she wouldn't want to put up with a whiny young prince.

He was wrong.

"Zuko," she murmurs again, angling her face so that he's looking at her, not focusing on their hands. "I'm willing to deal with whatever issues you have. I did not travel all this way, falling into rivers and having to ride stinky animals just to leave you be."

He surprised her, this time. He laughes. No, it's not joyous, or loud; it's bittersweet. But it makes his eyes crinkle just so, and she can tell that it's helped. Not too much, not enough to heal him, but just enough to possibly get him through the night.

"It might take a while."

She smiles, something she hasn't done in a while. This isn't the usual smirk she wears, or the sarcastic grin. It's a true smile, one she only let's the people she trusts most see. She's waited this long, those long and terrible three years. Another thing that hasn't changed is that her feelings didn't go away for three years of no contact, not knowing if he was alright or even alive; she's sure she can put up with a few more.

"I'll be waiting."

* * *

 

Mai could hear him before he even made it to the hallway. His footsteps did tend to echo when he was angry or anxious. Despite that, she stayed still on her couch, flipping through a book and sipping on her tea.

"Where in Agni's name is she?!"

Also, he wasn't being quiet.

The Fire Lady chuckled to herself, though any other person would not have known that seeing as though her face didn't spare any emotional change. Ten years may have passed since he'd been crowned Fire Lord, but still, he was Zuko at heart.

"Daddy!" she heard a high-pitched shrill from down the opposite side of the hall Zuko was currently at, assuming her ears hadn't turned against her. Apparently, Princess Izumi had heard her father as well. Mai hopes that her daughter didn't catch all the not-so-child-friendly things her husband had spoken, considering that children of that age did tend to repeat all they hear. If so, that would be one point against the Fire Lord, right behind waking their child up from her nap.

"Izumi!" Zuko's voice rings out loud and clear, surprise evident. Most likely, he knows he woke her up. She stumbles a lot after just rising and the very young girl should still be in sleeping robes. The woman didn't hear anything break, or anyone fall, so she's not too sure at the moment if Izumi had been awake or—

"Careful!" she hears her husband's voice right before the tell-tale sound of a glass object shattering.

"Whoops." such a quiet voice her daughter has when she knocks yet another vase over. Zuko is calling a servant, telling them to come clean the mess up, while trying to console the child. Mai almost gets up to intervene because, unfortunately, yelling for a servant and comforting a child are not two things you should try to multitask with.

Against what many of the people of the Fire Nation thought, Mai was not an emotional monster when it came to her family. To the point that if it means protecting her daughter from a well-meaning father, she's going to be there.

Before she can rise completely, she hears Izumi's shrill again. It seems like she's forgotten about the vase and has turned her attention back to her father. With a small smile, the Fire Lady eases herself back down onto her couch. Yes, she was a loving mother, but her husband was a loving father, too.

She hears as her daughter talks animatedly about what she did that day, what she hopes to do tomorrow, and so on. Every so often, Zuko would contribute to the conversation; that is; when Izumi took time to breathe. From a shout of joy when the child told him about how she walked the entire garden with her mother or a very serious noise for the time Izumi brought to his knowledge that they were low on candies and that was simply not okay.

Still, though she was talking his ear off, still Zuko stayed out right there in the hallways and listened to her ramble on. Even through the servant coming and cleaning up the broken vase. The Fire Lord most likely had picked her up and was holding her close to his chest, and she was probably waving her arms around so much with her stories that he'd have to duck more often than not. That's what they usually do when Izumi talks to him, anyway. And this time, she has quite a few tales to tell.

Especially when you consider that she hadn't seen her father in over six months.

Building a place for all the countries to coexist was incredibly time consuming, this Mai knew. Izumi? Not as much. There were times at might that they'd be getting ready for bed but Izumi wouldn't sleep, wanting to wait up for her father to say good night to her. The Fire Lady would try to explain that her father was an ocean away, helping give people homes. Izumi, being too young to understand why her father wasn't here, would still lay there on her parents' bed, awaiting for her father's return.

Eventually, with time, Izumi realized that her father was off being a doing what he needed to do. That and after Mai told her that one day she'd be doing the works her father had done, taking care of the people, she took it much easier. Yes, she still wanted her father home, that was easy to tell, but she was okay with him being away for a while because she wanted to be a good leader like he was, one day.

She could hear Izumi's voice beginning to fade during sentences, a clear sign that she was drifting back to sleep. Zuko's footsteps were softer now, and getting closer. Mai placed the bookmarker in where she left off reading and set the book on the table, right next to the empty cup of tea. She stood and turned to the door, knowing that soon, she'd see her husband for the first time in what's felt like years.

A small voice in her mind rings out, reminding her that she's waited before; waited longer.

Sure enough, Fire Lord Zuko walks through the door with a sleeping child in his arms. His robes aren't his formal ones, meaning he didn't stop to anywhere important on his trip home. Whether it was because it wasn't needed or because he just refused to stop until he saw his family, she's not sure. Though, to be honest, she's leaning to the latter.

He walks over to the giant bed on the far side of the room, parallel to where Mai is standing. From how the door opens and the path to get to the bed, it's easy to miss her. She can't help but smirk a little, though.

Still completely oblivious to his wife standing just a few feet away, the man lays his daughter down right in the middle of the mattress and covers her up to her chin. Something Mai would change soon, since it's midday and too hot in the season for that much covering. But right now, she'll let him be a good father, just as he is.

Then, after kissing Izumi's forehead and turning, he sees her. And stops dead in his tracks.

"Izumi broke—"

"The vase, yes, I know; shame, that is. I did like that one."

Then, it's as if a dam broke. In less than a second, she's wrapped in his arms and he's holding her tight to his chest. She can feel his breath on her shoulder, hot to the point it makes her skin pink. It happens when he's very emotional, she's found out. She hugs him tighter, if possible, trying to relay her feelings as much as he had just done with his own.

Too quickly, the break the tight embrace. For a while, they just stand there, holding one another loosely, looking at one another. Having a silent conversation of mainly, 'I missed you' and 'I love you'.

Then, Zuko breaks.

"I'm so sorry, Mai," he said first, letting go of her completely and beginning to pace. Quickly, she cuts her eyes to Izumi–still asleep. Thank Agni.

Yet, based on Zuko just took a deep breath, the Fire Lady isn't quite sure she's going to stay that way.

"I wasn't supposed to be gone that long, I know. I agreed to three month intervals, that way I don't miss anything important in Izumi's life, and I don't leave you stranded to look after the Fire Nation by yourself—even though I know you can do it, I also know you really hate a lot of those elders—but with trying to get the politics settled with the Earth King and all, I couldn't leave Aang and Sokka by themselves. And Toph is having trouble getting people from the Fire Nation to recognize her as chief of police, since she's of Earth Kingdom, so I had to deal with that—"

For a good bit, Mai had stood there silently and watched him with an amused grin. Then she remembered Izumi, and how she was when she didn't get to sleep, and how if she let him, Zuko would go on for hours. So she had to stop it. Having crossed over in two long strides, she took his face between her hands and pressed a kiss to his lips. Pulling back, she had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing at his expression.

"Will you do that every time I ramble?"

"Depends if our daughter is sleeping in the same room or not." it was hilarious, really, how wide his eyes got. With a glance back at the child, Zuko looked back at her with an embarrassed smile.

"Sorry." the woman rolled her eyes and let her arms drop back to her side.

"Should be. You've already woken her up once, looking for me."

"I wanted to see you."

"You and I both know how she gets when she doesn't have a nap, and you are well aware of her sleeping times." he flashed her an embarrassed grin again, and she decided that she'll forgive him this time.

It's quiet once more, the two of them simply enjoying each other's presence and closeness of their daughter. Mai was about to move to go lay down with the child, but Zuko grabbed her hand. She stopped, of course, and turned to face him. As soon as she did that, he ducked his head, refusing to meet her eyes. Her own eyes narrowed, knowing that there was something he wasn't telling her.

"Just tell me, Zuko."

She barely had her sentence out when Zuko spoke. "I know this was supposed to be my last visit there until they get started on working with the housing for the west side, but they're going to need me sooner." he pauses, looking up to her. Her face is plain, as usual, but he knows the difference. This is a guarded look. She wasn't expecting that news.

"How soon?"

"A few weeks, month at most." he tries to hold her intense gaze, but breaks away, looking all over but at his wife or daughter. She knows that he's refusing to look at them because it'll only make the pain worst, knowing he'd have to leave them again.

She walks over to him, taking his hand and intertwining their fingers. She gives him a smile, a true smile, before she speaks.

"We understand, Zuko. We're not angry with you because you have to go. Don't be angry at yourself, either."

He's quiet, looking at their hands. When he does bring his gaze back up to meet her own, she sees tears in his eyes. Silently, she brushes them away with her free hand.

"It might take a while."

She remembers, way back in the Earth King's Palace those many years ago, having a conversation like this. She smiles at him, the same smile from way back then, and brings his hand to her chest. Things had changed, yes. They were older, they were married, they had a child. But still, she waited this long for him, between rebuiling a country to helping rebuild the world; she's sure she can put up with a few more.

"I'll be waiting."

* * *

 

Many a times, Zuko had to leave for business; whether it be treaties with Earth Kingdom villages or meetings with the Water Tribes. He left Mai at the Fire Nation Palace, sometimes with Princess Izumi to keep her company but sometimes not. After all, she needed to know how to rule the country in foreign affairs for when it was her turn to be leader.

Yet still, Mai waited for his return. Knowing from experience, he always did return.

* * *

 

"I left a lot. Always me leaving you, whether it be because I was banished or because I needed to attend to my duties. You always were waiting for me when I returned. You never complained about my leaving, or whine to me about how I stopped loving you so I left. You knew I had faith you'd take care of the Fire Nation and our daughter in my absence. I love you for that, as well as many other reasons."

The aged man sighed, wrinkled eyes closing for a brief moment.

"I never imagined what it would have been like if you left me. Surely, the Fire Nation would have not done too well; I did have a habit of throwing fits when I got upset. Was that why you left after Izumi took the throne?" he opened his eyes and looked at the golden plaque with Fire Lady Mai's name engraved on it. The small memorial was standing right before the fountain he and his late wife fell into all those many years ago. A bittersweet smile pulled at his lips, remembering the times spent sitting in that very spot where the memorial now stood.

"Yes, you left this time. I can't wait for you, though. I am aware that it's impossible for me to wait for you to come back to life, because that simply doesn't happen. But you, you can wait for me where you are. Ironic, isn't it? How you finally leave me, and yet you're still the one waiting." he took a shuddering breath, a small tear falling from his eye. "Wait for me, Mai? Wait for me in the Spirit World?"

As a gentle breeze russles his robes, he can hear her raspy chuckle.

_"Haven't I always, Zuko?"_

**Author's Note:**

> Follow on tumblr at ---> frostystuffs


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